Manifesting change is a topic highlighted in the book The Secret, also something very NLP oriented (i.e. Tony Robbins).  In truth, I am a believer in this…not because the universe listens (as the author of The Secret says), but because I think it has to do with reprogramming the mind for opportunities that may have previously been ignored by one’s own conscious /subconscious mind.  I believe we can change our brains thinking patterns by, functionally, being more optimistic and/or believing in the opportunities that exist but may not yet be seen.

This kind of leads to a blog offshoot on how people think about ‘the future:’

1)  The optimist / believer / faithful – those who believe in the possibility of the unknown. Maybe they don’t know the specific answers to a question (such as how am I going to become successful, how will I become ceo someday, how will I meet the man/woman of my dreams and have relationship bliss, etc?), but they believe the answers are ‘out there.’  And that those answers will, in fact, come to them eventually. These people grasp opportunities, and look for chances to be lucky. They usually work hard at creating their ‘luck.’ These people live for the future; the past is simply a learning opportunity.

2) The pessimist / non-believer / unfaithful –  those who do not have any faith in what the future holds. They feel a lack of control of the future, and over-compensate by seeking proof of everything before they act on anything. These people are genuinely confronted with a problem in their lives; because they do not grasp opportunities, even when the opportunity is clearly within their grasp. Instead, they find excuses not to act and reasons to delay. Until eventually someone else takes advantage of the opportunity or time degrades, ravishes, or simply terminates the opportunity. They are always ‘unlucky,’ and typically find themselves in administrative or non-decision-making oriented roles. These people live for the past; they live in fear of the future.

3) The agnostics - those who simply don’t care. Not that that they do or do not believe…they truly do not want to worry about it. They choose not to choose. They live for today. Yesterday is a memory, and tomorrow is soon to be a memory as well.  Thus, they live for the moment.  Usually a lot of fun, very charismatic, and often lucky through overt risk taking. If there is no past and no future, why not push the envelope today? This sometimes pays off, but inconsistently and without regard to plans or intentions.

I was recently asked for examples of when I made myself change my thinking, and therefore change the outcome.  In reality, I think I have only ‘changed’ my thinking one time.  I made a choice a long time ago to start seeing things differently, to choose to be optimistic and believe in a positive outcome.  In reality, I probably made that change around the time I was a sophomore in high school. Prior to that I was kinda the fat nerdy kid. Class clown. Never played sports, never took too many risks, never asked a girl out. I simply made the decision that if I didn’t change something, my life would be more of the ho-hum same ‘ol thing. And the same ‘ol thing was making me unhappy.

So, I decided to create a bolder me. I changed my thinking about myself. About my possibilities. About my capabilities. Like the old saying, I faked it til I made it. And when did I become the person I had pretended to be at that moment: a bold, confident, optimistic, success oriented person?

Great question…what came first, the chicken or the egg? I don’t know.

But I do know that by the time I graduated high school, I was voted most likely to succeed, I had a hot girlfriend, I had slimmed down considerably, been accepted to private college, and within another few years I had started my first successful company.

So, how do you manifest change? You simply make a decision. Then commit to that decision. Burn the ships. Tell the world.

Because indecision kills manifest destiny.

I truly love the movie Contact, with Jodie Foster. In particular, I love the end of the movie. A child asks her if she believes in aliens, and she smiles ironically (we the viewer know that she doesn’t really know). She looks at the child and says: “I’ll tell you one thing about the universe. The universe is a pretty big place. It’s bigger than anything anyone has ever dreamed of before. So if it’s just us… seems like an awful waste of space. “

After a two hour festival of deep exploration of truth, we are left with a simple CHOICE on what we want to believe.

Another great quote from Jodie Foster’s character: “Funny, I’ve always believed that the world is what we make of it.”

So, I suppose the answer to the question I was asked about manifesting change is simply: sometimes you just choose to believe.  In yourself.

My most recent post was on Choosing between being a Follower or a Leader. I’m going to summarize and add to that post; so this one hopefully makes some sense:

• Leaders make unpopular decisions and are often chastised, ridiculed, and/or ostracized. They start as Thought Leaders, then evolve with support and belief to Action Leaders (Che Guevara).
• Due to force of will, charisma, good looks, DNA, parenting, luck, or timing… sometimes their believers outnumber and out-verbalize their non-believers.
• Followers (i.e. believers) make up most of humanity.  Which is OK for the Followers AND the Leaders of the world. Leadership is a yoke of responsibility to your constituency that is often unappreciated, and sometimes even punished (if you don’t believe me…. ask Jesus).
• Followers outnumber Leaders. I would approximate 25,000-to-1.
• Being a Follower is OK. Being a Thought Leader can be scary, and clearly unappreciated. Sometimes poorly paid; Edgar Allen Poe was paid $15 for The Raven and was never paid more than $100 for anything he wrote.; he died poor. Nietzsche died insane and poor.
• Followers make the Leader. Sometimes following a Leader is a bad decision. Which is When and Why the Follower must evolve. How, incidentally, is never known by a Leader; it is defined through decisive actions. The How inevitably evolves.
• Followers must, at a bare minimum, be responsible for Who they follow. Blind faith is stupid. Unused muscle inevitably atrophies.

Which conveniently leads us to this post:

I was watching Stargate SG-1 with my 19 yr old son. The episode involved a complex paradox that lead to a robotic-artificially-intelligent humanoid named Lotan, deciding the fate of one innocent and peaceful race’s demise vs. another innocent and peaceful race’s demise; due entirely to circumstance. Without belaboring the episode: Lotan was not programmed to save the race of the people at risk, despite seemingly having the power to do so. Through the introduction of empathy and self-preservation, he eventually saw that he had to consider the Purpose of his Mission, or the “Integrity of his Mission,” vs. the simple hierarchical commands he was given.

While that sounds all sci-fi and weird, it was a beautiful episode that taught a simple message.

Followers are responsible to insure that the purpose of the Leader is honored. Beyond the Leader, the purpose or vision of their Mission… the Integrity of their Mission must be honored through their actions. Not simply following hierarchical commands without thought or consideration. Followers are responsible.

Another example of this same message is found in one of my favorite movies, The Last Samurai. Katsumoto is loyal to the Japanese Emperor, yet wages rebellion against him. At one point the Emperor, a teenager being mislead through inexperience and fear, asks Katsumoto why he rebels. Katsumoto responds that he would gladly take his life for the Emperor, but he is convinced the Emperor’s decisions are wrong and is fighting him… for him. For his people. For the Purpose, Integrity, Mission, Goals, and Intent that the Emperor wanted, needed, stood for, and had mistakenly abandoned.

Followers still have to make decisions. Responsible decisions. This is inescapable. Since most people reading this are more likely Followers than Leaders, please consider YOUR Power:

1. Who is the Leader I am following; more specifically, what do they represent to and for their constituency?  (Is there value, to self and others, in this daily effort?)

2. Ignoring past actions, are the Leader’s current directives properly representing the constituency? (Are the commands, words, and intent consistent…am I doing the ‘right’ thing?)

3. How can I honor the INTEGRITY OF MY MISSION, supporting the constituency that the Leader is obligated to serve; even in the absence of clear direction or if said direction is not cohesive with the Mission? (If the Leader does not have the information you have at your disposal, would he / she prefer you seek an alternative, creatively finding new solutions, in order to support the constituency?)

Some Leaders want unquestioning Followers, and there are clearly plenty out there in this world of ours (one that encourages and cranks out Followers through the educational system, large corporations, even the stifling of the word ‘why’ in our youth). But the BEST Leaders, those who TRULY serve their Purpose, Mission, and Constituency…are those that take responsibility for their actions and seek to follow the Integrity of their Mission. Even if it means subtle rebellion.

Every executive in my company, and every past or present employee that I respect, is someone with the guts to question my commands.

Confident Leaders honor their rebels. Nothing is more valuable to a Leader than a Follower with the guts to ask Why.

And once someone has lost sight of the Integrity of their Mission, they no longer deserve to Lead or Follow.

Followers are easily identified by their unwillingness to make tough decisions that aren’t first dictated or lead by their alleged glorious leader. Followers prefer someone to make decisions for them; and Leaders like to make decisions… take action.  Thing is, the fact that someone makes decisions and takes action might make them a Leader, but it does not make them a Good Leader. Positive impact on their constituency. Nor does it make them a Leader worth Following: Jim Jones, Hitler, Charles Manson… those are obvious examples of decisive action taking Leaders. I used to sit and cogitate on one question: ‘How the heck did they attract followers?’

Theory / Hypothesis; consider this: What if you follow the “Right” thing to do according to Society; you know, the norm dictated by people and media around you at that time? Your preacher, your Imam, your military leader; they all are in charge, they know what’s right and wrong, they were democratically elected or voted or believed into power! Right?

Society, the rule of numbers, the people, democracy … that’s always right. Right? NO! Sometimes leaders rule through the pretension of acceptance, dictation of societal norms; this is how they control the masses. The unthinking people. Those who hate to make action oriented decisions. You’ve felt it before…. follow. Follow what you dare not question. Follow because we are all doing it… Right?

These dictatorial decision makers are not the people who may be perceived as psycho. They are usually middle-men. Intermediaries. Preaching ideology, dangerously rooted in “righteousness” or “ethics.”

This is the most nefarious thing on the planet. Not the occasional bizarre-nut-bag like Mao Zedong, Idi Amin or Pol Pot; not even present day nut-jobs like Reverend Moon (his son is largest arms dealer in Korea), or Kim Jong-il (er…Team America…need I say more).Those people are obvious to the intelligent book-reading crowd.

I am talking about the people who push or promote ideological justifications, ultimately for the purpose of following the bold and decisive actions of a ‘Prophet.’

See….it isn’t the nut-jobs that are dangerous; it is the legions of enforcers and thought leaders that convince everyone else that following this new and perfectly communicated ideology is the Right (i.e. Righteous) thing to do.

WHY ????????

Because the followers never question the alleged ethical or righteous authority of their Beloved Leader; particularly when / if they believe wholeheartedly in the ideology. Which allows the prophet forgiveness for their obvious flawed human-ness.  That is how Hitler attracted an entire country, or three, to his mad ramblings and insanity-inspired musings.

OK…so… who is wrong here? The leader or the follower?

IMHO ~ I believe it is society as a whole. See… when you have a society that doesn’t reward individualism, a society that doesn’t reward people who break out from the pack, a society that instead rewards unquestioning followers…. you get a beautiful opportunity for well communicated, shiny and pretty , yet flawed, even psychopathic leaders.

Honeslty… Korea and Germany (Japan to a lesser degree / pre 1945)…. are hot-beds for goofy-0ass followers. Their societies are engineering dreams. Particualrly potent during the Industrial Revolution. Do as you are told. No individuality. Self-expression is the Devil. So is Football (Water Boy metaphor for the slower readers).

What a shame.

I have personally and carefully crafted a brand for myself over the years. A brand that allows me some freedoms. These freedoms were what that I knew I would require… because I am a little crazy. Like a Fox.

Crazy enough not to follow society’s rules.

Crazy enough to tell people to F-Off if I didn’t believe in their ideologies.

Crazy enough to reject ideology as THE rule of life.

And so I became an entrepreneur. Someone who could craft my own world. My own rules. My own destiny.

And yet… I live within your world. Your rules. Your perceptions and allegations. Trust me, it ain’t always easy to Lead vs. Follow. Few supporters and friends, even amongst family and loved ones.

Here is what I learned from Ayn Rand, author of Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead: I learned…the world is yours to craft. The leaders of this world create, without concern for acceptance or recognition; without concern for wealth or assimilation. Leaders are alone – because they create new rules. They Lead … They Thought-Lead.

Now… who are you? A leader or a follower? A thinker or a non-thinker?

Leaders are disdained and ostracized. They test limits. The bulk of humanity doesn’t have the cojones to test the limits. This is A-OK, as long as you understand how important it is to choose Who and What you Follow.

Do you Lead? By making tough decisions and suffering occasional judgment and ostracism? Do you Follow? If so, Who and What are you Following? Yesterday’s leadership; those who are well rounded, dictated, processed, ideological? The Bizarre Nut-jobs on the fringe?  Who?

Do you follow tomorrow’s leadership? Angry, mistaken, often humiliated, maybe even ostracized? Present day nut-jobs?

I can assure you; Leadership is a yoke. For those who bear this yoke, I encourage you to keep on KEEPING ON! Humanity needs Leaders. Despite the fact you may not see this today; or feel appreciated, or even have followers.

For those who Follow… please choose your Leaders wisely.

Today’s leaders have been tested. Tomorrow’s leaders are risky. Sometimes risk equals reward. Sometimes it does not.

No matter what… Leader or Follower…you must understand that YOU dictate YOUR future.

Enjoy the song…. I did: Breaking Benjamin Follow

When you gonna wake up and fight ?

As Robert Frost said in the last sentence of his poem The Road Not Taken: “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”

Every day we are greeted with issues, decisions, challenges, and options. Each of these is a prime opportunity to face the divergence in the road and decide: Good or Bad. In truth, the decision in front of you is simply two moves on the chess board of Life. Each leads to another move from your opponent (Unhappiness), and then another move, and another, and so on. If you are not 99 years old, deaf, dumb, and blind…there is good news: you have a CHOICE.

Should I be happy or should i be ____(something else)_____?

Buddhists say that everything is void of Good or Bad. That it depends on your perception of the situation; and your situation as it relates to the actual occurrence.

That doesn’t mean that your life is a random event; like some macabre carnival game, pitching our fate with a random roll of the wheel. It means that the determination of Good or Bad is in the hands of the Beholder.

Because no matter what you Perceive to be obvious, you have a choice to behave un-obviously.

This is called Faith.

Faith is choosing to Believe in something you do not see at present. There is no factual data to support the Belief. As you deal with the vagaries and uncertainty of life, Faith gives you the option to Choose. Which path shall I take?

The common path, which is usually that of the flotsam and jetsam of humanity, or the less common path: The Road Not Taken.

The Road Not Taken is Faith & Optimism. Deciding to see the choice you made, whatever it may be, as Happiness. Then taking action, taking that first step down the road, which is: Strength, Empowerment, Life’s Journey, Intuition, Clarity, Power, Subconscious Victory, Will Power… all of which lead to Self-Mastery.

There are two alternatives to this Decision to Accept Happiness. One is that you see the step taken as something that chooses you; an Action you were not in Control of making: Destiny, Fate, Self-Defeat, DNA, Spiritual Forces, The Will of God, Familial Obligation, Race, Gender, Situational Economics. The other is to choose to do the same thing you have Always Done. This has the false appearance of being empowering for some people. If it’s the same thing you always say or do, then it is not empowering you.

Anything that dis-empowers you, that takes Control out of your Hands, and puts it into the hands of anyone or anything else (including your own habits), is dis-empowering. It is the Actions Leading to Self Mastery that Empowers you, and leads to Happiness.

For example:

* I drink too much. I will choose to slow down. (ding: a decision). * I will act upon this decision (ding: action). * I recognize failure is human (ding: reality). *I forgive myself before failure happens, if it happens; although not avoiding responsibility (ding: self-acceptance). * And I am taking this journey, this Step…because I BELIEVE I can Win (ding: Happiness through Self-Empowerment).

Try choosing to walk the Road Not Taken: not even necessarily the one not taken by others; but the road not taken by you, the last time you faced this very same issue. I know when I am finding problems in front of me and behind me, I go left or right. And if yesterday I stepped on dog-shit on the left, my decision is pretty easy.

Try Different-ness.

“If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

Some related links:

The Road Not Taken – Robert Frost

Meaning behind Shinedown’s Sound of Madness

Shinedown – Save Me video

Shinedown – acoustic version of Simple Man

DC Talk – Consume Me

It Ain’t About How Hard You Hit – Rocky Balboa

Rocky doesn't like F.F.P.S.

Every suburban American parent suffers the moment when we believe the secret to parenting is in getting our kid in competitive sports; right behind fishing or piano. Soccer, of course, seems the most innocuous; so, despite the fact that most people can’t name one professional American soccer team, we enroll our kids in soccer at or around age 7.

A few years back, a new program erupted on the angst-ridden parenting scene, and it was greeted with great fanfare and excitement as a Revolutionary new program called Fun Fair Positive Soccer or F.F.P.S.

Ever since, F.F.P.S. has been All-The-Rage!! Basically, it has no score, n0 winners, no losers; everyone gets a trophy, and everyone gets a cool-ass jersey… even that kid that picked his nose the entire game.

So what Gene: ‘Why is it wrong that everyone gets a trophy?’Because the good people at F.F.P.S are trying to equalize out the fact that life isn’t fair. Some kids are more athletic. Some have more drive. Who cares?!?! In F.F.P.S., everyone is equal; Losers and Winners alike!

The problem is, well…um, that ain’t L.I.F.E. my friend. This attitude, taught to kids now at an early age, doesn’t prepare children to be either effective or self-aware adults. In fact, it is actually robbing children of a crucial message: Life Is Not fair.

Thanks to F.F.P.S., and other equalizing programs, our society is full of goofy people who think showing up and picking daisies, or each other’s noses, is sufficient to engender a reward.

As adults, the same kids that got trophies for “not-losing,” go on to ask for pay raises and promotions despite the fact that they have done nothing to improve their skills or enhance their marketplace value. They, of course, get really mad; Tweeting, and Facebook-ing, and Yelp-ing about the insensitivity of their employer for not recognizing their daily attendance (productivity notwithstanding).

However, maybe if they had learned the proper lessons earlier in life, they would understand that rewards go to the players who Win and who Contribute. Other people have run the field hard, learned new skills and steadily increased their responsibilities; subsequently earning pay raises and promotions. These people understand the ball doesn’t come to you, you run after the ball, and KICK it as hard as possible!

So, here are a few lessons I hope to teach to my three awesome kids, as I watch them run the ball of life:

1) Don’t worry about your resume – Worry about the profits, efficiency and success of the team.  Resume enhancement comes from success. Success comes from adding value. Adding value comes from chasing the ball with all your might. WIN !!!

2) Absorb the beauty of a WIN, and the bitter pill of a LOSS – Only then can you strive and learn and grow. A trophy for losing is like a raise for tenure: Fool’s Gold. Oftentimes, the bitter pain of regret, loss and/or losing something of value is exactly what you need to make you get up and run Harder next time. How many entrepreneurs fail and then, armed with new learning experiences, succeed later in life? All of them.

Soccer players that expect success from just chasing the more athletic and skilled people around the field, or for simply showing up, are kidding themselves and being lazy.

Winners get trophies. Losers get learning opportunities. And DAMN-IT, that’s A-OK and exactly what each of them need and deserve!

If you are wondering why you haven’t gotten a pay raise lately? It’s because you haven’t added enough value to the team. You’ve been running around the field, chasing the athletic kids, wiping your nose on the daisies and the dandelions.

OK…What does it take to get recognition? Easy:

1st – Hard effort.

2nd – Win.

3rd – Trophy.

In that order.

Winning isn’t bad; it’s awesome. Losing isn’t bad either; it’s awesome. With each Winner comes a Loser.

Rocky. Aliens. Mighty Ducks. Cool Runnings. Transformers. ~ These movies have Winners and Losers. Which is why we cheer!!  YAY!!!  The Winner’s Won!!!

In the immortal words of Ricky Bobby: “If you ain’t first, you’re last.”

Rewarding someone for NOT evolving is a travesty of nature, a two-headed animal, and most two-headed animals die.

F.F.P.S. should be called F.F.B.S..

And people who demand “More” from life, yet refuse to run after the ball, should be called “Losers.”

Don’t be a Loser. Run Forrest Run!!

Go for the Gold. IT IS IN YOU!

Artwork by Jonathan McCubbin, age 10

I was raised by an artist.   In the 70’s my Mom cut hair at a salon that also taught belly-dancing.  Nonetheless, she was an artist of hair.  Later, she became a nationally recognized Interior Designer.   Later still, a more conventional artist, with oil paints and a canvas.

My house, growing up, was always changing.  One day we had French doors that were white; the next day we had something else.

As a kid, I remember going to visit her at Ethan Allen, where she worked earlier in her career, and playing on the carpet samples for hours and hours.

Roles shifted, and as a young adult and fledgling entrepreneur myself, I convinced her to go into her own business www.janicemccubbin.com. This scared the crap out of her; yet further developed both her art and the quality of her client base.

I was also raised by a financial planner.   My Father worked for Smith Barney as a financial planner; specializing in options.  Puts and Calls.  He taught me about money.  How money is a tool.  It can be leveraged.  It can be dangerous.  It can be rewarding.   And It should be respected.

They both spoke to me for hours on end about their careers.  When I was lucky I would get to meet their clients.   Both of them served the wealthy.  The VERY wealthy.

And I was a sponge.  I learned.

Could I sum up my Mom or Dad’s career in one sentence??   ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!

That would be both offensive and presumptuous.

BUT… I can tell you one of the most important lessons I learned from these amazing people.

– and here it is –

Money is a tool; it has no soul. – But it can be made to dance, and sing.  It can be leveraged to create.  It can serve a purpose beyond itself.  It can feed people.  It can provide blankets to the homeless.  It can create a bridge for laughter. Love. Light.  But it does exist.  And it must be respected.

Art is expressive; it has soul. – But it can be made into a blunt object of force.  Words, paint, music, religion, expression.  It can be leveraged for power….and abused.  It seems innocuous.  But its beauty has both beauty AND a razor sharp edge.  It can create a bridge for laughter. Love. Light.  And it does exist.  And it must be respected.

Power can exist over people in many ways.   Their strength, and protection, is in realization of this truth.

P.S. The artwork featured in this blog is from my 10 year old son, Jonathan.

Category A - These people bust ass. They work virtually all hours; from home, via Blackberry, on weekends. Whenever needed. They expand their skills and their job role to encompass what the employer needs at that moment, not necessarily for the employer… but for their selfish desire to move ahead AND their personal desire to scratch that internal itch called Pride. They do this happily, without warning, forethought, or demand.

These folks never need to be asked to do X, Y, Z… Oftentimes, they even require training on focus and slowing down. Balance is achieved through personal productivity.

They are team players; helping and not begrudging their time invested in others. They don’t let family or personal concerns block their career efficacy; using their personal life as a motivation and not a road-block.

Their work is an investment… In themselves and in their career.

They are the crab seeking ever to climb out of the bucket. Not because the bucket is horrible, but because they are excited about what lies beyond the edges of their current limitations.

{Notes in these little squiggly parentheses things are for owners of start-ups: Cat A employees are RARE… hold onto them for dear life!!! Your organization will succeed solely based on these people…. the rest are the flotsam and jetsam of business ownership}

Category B – These people are the “Worker Bees” of an organization. They work, they stretch, they are predictable, manageable, pleasant, reasonably happy. They are awesome!!!! They love tasks and excel at achieving laid out objectives. They never purposely miss, and always enjoy their job from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. on the dot. When they get home to their well organized life, they are well intentioned and good parents, siblings, and spouses. This person represents the foundation of our society… predictability and accountability. They were taught this by their excellent parents and they do not waver. God Bless America. God Bless Category B. So many systems would not exist without them. I had a friend who was an executive in a $7 billion water treatment company. I asked her; ‘how the heck do you manage 7,000 + people?’… and she said: ‘This place is a cult of process.’ Cat B’s love process because it keeps them from having to make decisions.

{For owners of start-ups: quit reading this, it is in tiny little text so you will ignore it; these are not the droids you are looking for; move along: Cat B employees are awesome. They work hard and make the true foundation of your company. You must be loyal to them; as they are to you. That’s what they want; someone to watch their back. Love these people.}

Category C – For whatever reason, at this point in time in their life; this person is unaccountable, unpredictable, sometimes lazy, irresponsible, and unmanageable. They are horrid employees, and whether personable or not…they cost the organization money and create strife and challenges for all.

{For owners of start-ups: if you could put this person’s head on a stake and parade around with it for a while, then leave it out publicly at the reception desk with maggots eating their eyeballs out… it would still not motivate the other Category Cs to be more personally accountable.}

And that’s that…. You are either A, B, or C!!

Woooaaaahhh Tonto. Not so fast. If it were that easy, then hiring and firing would be a piece of cake.

It isn’t.

You see…there is Category D.

Category D – This is the most difficult and troubling of categories. They look like a Cat A, smell and behave sometimes like a Cat B, maybe even promote themselves as a Cat C… but they are really a Cat D. This would be the work-world equivalent of a psychopath. Someone with something to hide, no remorse, and a willingness to manipulate others to get what they want out of a situation…with no regard for feelings, impact, emotions, economics, or even their own careers. They have good degrees sometimes. Great resumes sometimes. Even good referrals sometimes. Because they have manipulated or master-minded past employers, friends, co-workers and family to represent whatever is needed to move their agenda ahead. Which is the core problem. Their agenda is not success for themselves, which makes good common sense and is predictable, their agenda is justification for their personal lack of success:

• “See…I tried.”
• “It’s not my fault.”
• “Yeah…but…”

These are mottos emblazoned on their forehead / resumes / backgrounds, as sure as the tattoo on their bicep or the ‘tramp-stamp’ on their back (not that there is anything wrong with the occasional tramp-stamp). They are not bad people…. they just do not know how to accept personal responsibility for their own failures; so their entire life and career is spent self justifying.

They kill organizations, because they are believable.

They kill morale.

Large to midsized companies thrive on Cat B and Cat C employees, but Cat A does not work because they tend to buck ‘process.’ A Cat A in a large or midsized company is persistently unhappy.

Cat A belongs in small growth companies.

Ultimately, Cat B doesn’t work very well in small growth companies.

And Cat C doesn’t work anywhere…but survives in large companies. Usually the government. Ever been to the post office? (Side note: my solution to tons of problems; i.e. global warming, deforestation, budgetary deficit, etc….deliver mail once a week).

Cat D is really troubling.

You must learn to spot them fast. They leave signs.

• They jump ship approximately every 18 months.
• They switch careers approximately every five years.
• They have an excuse for everything.
• Their excuse is believable….and they are often quite charming.
• They have poor personal finance management.
• They have limited long term personal relationships.
• They have a tendency to plagiarize without giving appropriate recognition to the source.
• They do NOT like to be the subtle or quiet one, yet they do not like being responsible for results either.
• They are often audacious.
• They shine attention on non-productive aspects of their daily efforts.
• They ALWAYS leave a trail of dead bodies.
• Always.

{For owners of start-ups: these people will absolutely KILL everything you are doing. Slowly, painfully, expensively. These people are cock roaches. They breed, they are difficult to kill, they keep seemingly coming back to life, and they just don’t fucking die!! Die you asshole die!!! aahhhhhhhh…. Uh. Sorry. Flashbacks.}

As an entrepreneur…I’ve learned to find, train, motivate, support, appreciate, recognize, and enjoy Cat A.

I have also learned to do the same for Cat B. They provide comfort; just don’t forget the Jack Welch motto of replacing the bottom 10%.

I’ve learned to terminate Cat C.

I’ve lost a fortune to Cat D.

Gotta watch them…like a Zombie infestation…they tend to spread.

Ps – You can identify Category A and B employees because they value their work experience and their learning opportunities higher than their short-term pay. They value career goodwill. They research the organization before coming to work, and they are concerned about what YOU think of them…not kiss-asses, but they have Pride that they wish to secure through Effort and Productivity.

Now… I’m not trying to get all engineering on you here. But it is really this simple; I was a very small kid…super short. Even as an adult, I stand now about 5′5″ and a half (and a HALF damn it). So… I had to learn how to make things work for me when nature simply had not/did not/would not/wasn’t planning on providing. Same principle that causes many fat people to be funny (see: John Candy, John Belushi, Chris Farley, Jack Black, etc, etc, etc). Anyway… fact is, you gotta figure another way to get what you want if the standard apparatus doesn’t achieve the goals.

I sat down, at about nineteen, and started writing down my goals…and quickly figured out I did not have the time of the day, nor the patience, and maybe not the intellect or skill-set to achieve these things myself. So I needed to find me an army to help accomplish these goals.

Without belaboring the point, and skipping forward about ten years, I discovered that to motivate the army, you need to help them focus on THEIR goals. Often times, you need to be the task master they themselves refuse to be to and for themselves.

So… I harnessed the electrical power of human beings. Just like the robots in the Matrix. Entrepreneurs call these human beings “employees.”

Whew! Long explanation for why I wanted to hire these folks. Because very quickly I found out, “Holy Crap… these people are nuts!!”

For the next ten years, I began subconsciously and consciously crafting a system to categorize prospective employees. I figured out they ALL interview well. I did cognitive testing, Top Grading, IQ tests, sniff tests, drinking tests, Mary Shelly tests, Freudian tests, asked a million questions and more. Still don’t know the answer to figuring out what the best prospective employee is, and anyone who says they do…is lying through their gold-plated Google-logo emblazoned teeth.

BUT !!!!!

I did figure out a way for THEM to tell themselves apart.

A way in which the prospective employee can be honest with themselves about what their long-term likelihood of success is within certain organizations AND a way for them to choose what kind of employer they should seek.

It’s really quite simple. Although there are two facets to this, and I only have the time to share one of those facets today…but it starts by getting clues from the animal kingdom.

In nature, there are all types of animals, bugs, and amazing creatures. I am going to focus on a few that people often find interesting:

1. The Plover Bird – The Plover Bird is that cute little bird we have all seen pictures of that cleans the crocodile’s teeth. This is generally considered a SYMBIOTIC relationship. Croc gets his teeth cleaned, bird gets a meal.
2. The Cestoda – The infamous Tapeworm. Grows and grows and grows…until you have a bowel movement of a twelve foot circular headed monster. Yuck! and scary !
3. The Remora – The little fish that attaches to the shark, eating left-over tidbits that are too small to interest the host.
4. The Crocodile or Shark – Depending on the venue, generally considered the top of the food chain…until guns were invented.

See, we have SYMBIOTIC relationships in nature…and PARASITIC.

…and so this is how it works:

The entrepreneur or owner or corporation is the shark, or crocodile. A badass meat eating (in my case: 5′5″ Lord Farquaadian-Freudian-Machiavellian-sometimes-angry-little-F’er) that likes to kill and eat. ‘Nuff said.

Some people are SYMBIOTIC… they help. They benefit the Shark/Crocodile and they benefit themselves. They contribute to the overall good of the teeny-little eco system.

Some people are PARASITIC…. they pretend to help (“Look Ma I am losing weight no matter what I eat!”), but in reality parasites suck needed resources from the overall system.

And so kiddos – what we learn from nature is that you should either be SYMBIOTIC or PARASITIC or the CROCODILE.

End of story. Night night. Let’s go to bed.

Wait…

Hang on….

Seems I made a mistake. See, uh, um, Plover Birds do NOT actually exist, or rather, they have NEVER ONCE been identified or captured on camera actually cleaning a crocodile’s mouth. Click here for proof. Remoras actually provide zero value to the shark. They don’t hurt it, but they don’t help it at all. See here for proof. Tapeworms do suck, literally, the nutrients from your body and should be blasted out (no pun intended).

In fact, if a crocodile / shark gets a hold of a Remora or Plover while hungry… CHOMP. It’s dead, filling the crocodile / shark’s body with nourishment because they are not TRULY symbiotic, or the value provided is not outweighted by the hunger the crocodile feels at that moment….they are dispensable.  Situations change, and sometimes, when they do…the relationship the plover has with the croc may not be as valuable as the nourishment needed at that moment.

SHIT!! This was a pretty story before that message was laid out… even fit with all the things I was taught in kindergarten (NO…you did NOT learn everything you needed to know in Kindergarten).

HERE IS REALITY KIDDOS….

• We are human beings.
• We don’t behave like animals.
• We can control our mouth to NOT chomp on and eat the cute little bird.
• We can go hunt and kill our own food.
• We can brush our own teeth.
• We can even evolve from the Remora into the Shark.
• We must always be aware of the nourishment the croc needs to survive.
• We can choose not to be parasitic-blood-sucking-worms-looking-to-score-a-free-ride-from-on-the-back-of-the-frog.

— and THIS is what I have learned about human nature over the years —

There is a story, misappropriated to Aesop, that goes like this:

A scorpion asks a frog to carry him across a river. The frog is afraid of being stung, but the scorpion reassures him that if it stung the frog, the frog would sink and the scorpion would drown as well. The frog then agrees; nevertheless, in mid-river, the scorpion stings him, dooming the two of them. When asked why, the scorpion explains, “I’m a scorpion; it’s my nature.”

We are NOT scorpions and frogs. We do NOT have to bend to some pre-assigned nature. We do NOT need AA’s twelve steps, or Adderall, or Buddha/Allah/Jesus/Rebellion/Beelzebub to be responsible for our actions.

OUR ACTIONS ARE ENTIRELY WITHIN OUR OWN CONTROL… WE MUST SIMPLY CHOOSE TO CONTROL THEM.

Some people DO and some people DO NOT. It is YOUR choice and not the crocodile’s. 

And that is how the croc determines when to snap it’s mouth shut…hunger.  The bird that is focused only on cleaning teeth, and not at least being aware of the crocs last meal…becomes the meal instead.

Or the bird could even dart around and find a lame deer, or decaying water buffalo, or choice piece of delicious steak… and evolve into the crocs ‘eye in the sky’??

That is the part of the story we will tell in the next post Amigos.  See, from the croc’s perspective, the SYMBIOTIC relationship must continually evolve; and one can see this more in corporate America during a recession than at any other time.  Citigroup laid off 50,000 people; that’s 50,000 un-evolved Remoras and Plovers.  Circuit City failed and laid off 6,000; that’s Remoras, Plovers, and apparently a few Tapeworms (probably the Investment Bankers). 

What you have to do is DECIDE… and then live the fate that awaits you. In the immortal words of The Terminator’s John Conner, “No fate, but what we make for ourselves.”

Final words of advice: If you are a parasite, go work for a really big company or the government. If you think you are a Remora or a Plover: you probably still need to evolve, and you may be at risk of getting eaten if the croc gets really, really hungry. If you are a crocodile or shark, willing to seek nourishment for survival, and potentially be ostracized for your unusual antics (eating little birds and such); they call that entrepreneurism. If you are DESIRING to be a CROCODILE or a constantly evolving nourishment facilitating PLOVER; and you have skills that can benefit the croc and contribute to the overall nourishment of the ecosystem… well my friend, you might be a damn good addition to the crocodile or shark’s staff!!

BTW – entrepreneurs in small companies are sometimes bullish in nature, yet a small organization is always the quickest way to excel and successfully have your greatness identified. It is also the quickest place to identify a parasite, a remora, or a plover. Not even the mighty tapeworm can thrive inside a crocodiles stomach and intestines. Crocodiles have a really strong fortitude. They are survivors.

Snap ! Burp !

I will admit it’s nice to be able to just gab, blab, and blubber in someone else’s paid and professional care. Men who habitually pay for female companionship know exactly what I am talking about…a lesser known skill taught at pole-dancing school is listening to the client B&M (Bitch & Moan) about their often self-perpetuated self-abuse.

That said – let me sum up professional therapy, and the Champagne Room counseling session, and save you thousands or even tens of thousands of Benjamins:

1) Your parents, God bless-em, are probably f-ups in one way or another. – They learned from their parents, who learned from their parents, who learned from their parents, etc., etc., etc. Vicious Cycle of Parental Incompetence. No qualifications for having a baby required, or rearing that poor little sod. Even these people can do it…

2) So are you. – Yep, Sport, sorry to tell you… but there is a VERY high likelihood you are not half as perfect as you think you might be right now. No matter what your aforementioned Mommy told you. Guess what? It’s OK. Whether you’re shaving your head in denial like Britney, or making crap movies like Ashton, or nationalizing all of a previously glorious and free country like Obama…. you are likely making mistakes. That’s OK.

3) Get over it. – Yep… it is that simple. Get Over It. This Too Shall Pass. You will recover from your mistakes most likely and move on as a wiser, braver, older, slightly more scarred human being. They call that ‘certain look of knowledge and experience’ … WISDOM. As I get older, I now realize why so many old people know so much and yet are so reticent to share, expressing their knowledge through cynicism and cantankerous behavior… b/c sometimes the pain of gaining wisdom is…well…painful.

4) Do you need a scrip ? (for… alcohol, cocaine, pot, Ritalin, overt sexuality, no sexuality, obsessive behavior, Tourette’s syndrome, work-a-holism, Blackberry addiction, gambling, depression, anger, or only having 16 sides on your 20-sided die (obscure Dungeons & Dragons reference for the Gary Gygax fans) … I’m sorry. Blame it on your Mom. Or Dad. Or Uncle. These are all just ways to cope.

So…hire that Pole Dancer, or therapist; cry like a  baby if need be. And then Get Over It.

That’s the bottom-line.

We’ve all got personal problems. Every single imperfect one of us.

Leadership Lesson Hidden Behind this Bizarre Message about Pole Dancers and Therapists and Prescription Drugs:

• Don’t get caught up in your problems.
• Don’t get caught up in other people’s problems.
• Leave your bullshit at the door (as best you can).
• And be a “real” human being to those who can’t.

B/c leadership is a lot like Fatherhood – Under appreciated. Always needed. 

Love the people who make up your Tribe.

Because being a Leader sometimes means you might have to lend a shoulder for someone to cry upon… b/c they are human. So are you.

And that is A-OK. Sometimes as a Leader, you DO have to be more than a Boss. It doesn’t make you any less of a Leader.

And it doesn’t make them any less of an employee, friend, or pole dancer.

Peace Out.

PS – As a Leader, it is generally best if you seek your therapy through professional sources and avoid blubbering on the shoulder’s of your fellow Tribal Passionistas (i.e. your staff).

In the last ten days, I’ve taken on the job roles previously assigned to four people (including me). When you have an almost insurmountable amount of work in front of you, you get very good at making decisions and delegating.

Making decisions – this is crucial for leadership. Most people are scared to make decisions, captured by the fear of risk. What if…? And their mind fills in fears, the weight of the decision looms- even grows- and they then use some personalized delay tactic.

Thing is… Leaders lead. If the journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step, then we see that nowhere more exemplified in the ability to make decisions.

I have some underlying rules, related to my own behavior, that I almost religiously follow when faced with decisions (weighing the risks of two partial unknowns)… to the extent that they are habitual.

1. The economic impact on the variance from “perfect” to “good” is usually very small. The cost of a delay can be much more expensive than the added value of perfection. As Guy Kawasaki says, “Don’t Worry, Be Crappy.” Followed of course by “Churn, baby, churn.”

2. Time, truly, has a monetary equivalent (i.e. time is money). This value of Time varies depending on whose time is in question. Note: All animals are created equal, but some animals are more equal than others… delegate down.

3) My intuition is subconsciously running the math, smelling the air, adjusting for the wind… and is usually correct. Give extra credence to my first response.

4. The possible negative emotional impact of a decision grows exponentially as it is delayed. Problems grow as they are delayed… they don’t go away.

5. Life is a series of decisions. Since I am not J.C. (or any reasonable facsimile)… it is ok to make mistakes. I insist on learning from them, and I expect and even welcome them with a somewhat odd optimism. Forgive yourself.

6. Circumstances weigh heavily on what determines the “right” or “wrong” decision. Sticking with stoic rules or processes – or maybe even ethics – can cause wrong decisions. Weigh situations freely.

7.I must beware the reality that my own selfish interests oftentimes cloud my judgment. Therefore, if it benefits me personally, I give the decision a little more scrutiny.

Holy crap Batman… What does all that mean?

Simple. Trust your instincts. Accept “good enough.” Rush to decide. Forgive yourself, and forgive others if you delegate. Respect the value of your time. Learn from mistakes.

Leaders make decisions.

Oh yeah… one more -

8. Respect and tap into the power of optimism. You would be amazed how hard you work to prove yourself “right.”