Manifesting change is a topic highlighted in the book The Secret, also something very NLP oriented (i.e. Tony Robbins).  In truth, I am a believer in this…not because the universe listens (as the author of The Secret says), but because I think it has to do with reprogramming the mind for opportunities that may have previously been ignored by one’s own conscious /subconscious mind.  I believe we can change our brains thinking patterns by, functionally, being more optimistic and/or believing in the opportunities that exist but may not yet be seen.

This kind of leads to a blog offshoot on how people think about ‘the future:’

1)  The optimist / believer / faithful – those who believe in the possibility of the unknown. Maybe they don’t know the specific answers to a question (such as how am I going to become successful, how will I become ceo someday, how will I meet the man/woman of my dreams and have relationship bliss, etc?), but they believe the answers are ‘out there.’  And that those answers will, in fact, come to them eventually. These people grasp opportunities, and look for chances to be lucky. They usually work hard at creating their ‘luck.’ These people live for the future; the past is simply a learning opportunity.

2) The pessimist / non-believer / unfaithful –  those who do not have any faith in what the future holds. They feel a lack of control of the future, and over-compensate by seeking proof of everything before they act on anything. These people are genuinely confronted with a problem in their lives; because they do not grasp opportunities, even when the opportunity is clearly within their grasp. Instead, they find excuses not to act and reasons to delay. Until eventually someone else takes advantage of the opportunity or time degrades, ravishes, or simply terminates the opportunity. They are always ‘unlucky,’ and typically find themselves in administrative or non-decision-making oriented roles. These people live for the past; they live in fear of the future.

3) The agnostics - those who simply don’t care. Not that that they do or do not believe…they truly do not want to worry about it. They choose not to choose. They live for today. Yesterday is a memory, and tomorrow is soon to be a memory as well.  Thus, they live for the moment.  Usually a lot of fun, very charismatic, and often lucky through overt risk taking. If there is no past and no future, why not push the envelope today? This sometimes pays off, but inconsistently and without regard to plans or intentions.

I was recently asked for examples of when I made myself change my thinking, and therefore change the outcome.  In reality, I think I have only ‘changed’ my thinking one time.  I made a choice a long time ago to start seeing things differently, to choose to be optimistic and believe in a positive outcome.  In reality, I probably made that change around the time I was a sophomore in high school. Prior to that I was kinda the fat nerdy kid. Class clown. Never played sports, never took too many risks, never asked a girl out. I simply made the decision that if I didn’t change something, my life would be more of the ho-hum same ‘ol thing. And the same ‘ol thing was making me unhappy.

So, I decided to create a bolder me. I changed my thinking about myself. About my possibilities. About my capabilities. Like the old saying, I faked it til I made it. And when did I become the person I had pretended to be at that moment: a bold, confident, optimistic, success oriented person?

Great question…what came first, the chicken or the egg? I don’t know.

But I do know that by the time I graduated high school, I was voted most likely to succeed, I had a hot girlfriend, I had slimmed down considerably, been accepted to private college, and within another few years I had started my first successful company.

So, how do you manifest change? You simply make a decision. Then commit to that decision. Burn the ships. Tell the world.

Because indecision kills manifest destiny.

I truly love the movie Contact, with Jodie Foster. In particular, I love the end of the movie. A child asks her if she believes in aliens, and she smiles ironically (we the viewer know that she doesn’t really know). She looks at the child and says: “I’ll tell you one thing about the universe. The universe is a pretty big place. It’s bigger than anything anyone has ever dreamed of before. So if it’s just us… seems like an awful waste of space. “

After a two hour festival of deep exploration of truth, we are left with a simple CHOICE on what we want to believe.

Another great quote from Jodie Foster’s character: “Funny, I’ve always believed that the world is what we make of it.”

So, I suppose the answer to the question I was asked about manifesting change is simply: sometimes you just choose to believe.  In yourself.

My most recent post was on Choosing between being a Follower or a Leader. I’m going to summarize and add to that post; so this one hopefully makes some sense:

• Leaders make unpopular decisions and are often chastised, ridiculed, and/or ostracized. They start as Thought Leaders, then evolve with support and belief to Action Leaders (Che Guevara).
• Due to force of will, charisma, good looks, DNA, parenting, luck, or timing… sometimes their believers outnumber and out-verbalize their non-believers.
• Followers (i.e. believers) make up most of humanity.  Which is OK for the Followers AND the Leaders of the world. Leadership is a yoke of responsibility to your constituency that is often unappreciated, and sometimes even punished (if you don’t believe me…. ask Jesus).
• Followers outnumber Leaders. I would approximate 25,000-to-1.
• Being a Follower is OK. Being a Thought Leader can be scary, and clearly unappreciated. Sometimes poorly paid; Edgar Allen Poe was paid $15 for The Raven and was never paid more than $100 for anything he wrote.; he died poor. Nietzsche died insane and poor.
• Followers make the Leader. Sometimes following a Leader is a bad decision. Which is When and Why the Follower must evolve. How, incidentally, is never known by a Leader; it is defined through decisive actions. The How inevitably evolves.
• Followers must, at a bare minimum, be responsible for Who they follow. Blind faith is stupid. Unused muscle inevitably atrophies.

Which conveniently leads us to this post:

I was watching Stargate SG-1 with my 19 yr old son. The episode involved a complex paradox that lead to a robotic-artificially-intelligent humanoid named Lotan, deciding the fate of one innocent and peaceful race’s demise vs. another innocent and peaceful race’s demise; due entirely to circumstance. Without belaboring the episode: Lotan was not programmed to save the race of the people at risk, despite seemingly having the power to do so. Through the introduction of empathy and self-preservation, he eventually saw that he had to consider the Purpose of his Mission, or the “Integrity of his Mission,” vs. the simple hierarchical commands he was given.

While that sounds all sci-fi and weird, it was a beautiful episode that taught a simple message.

Followers are responsible to insure that the purpose of the Leader is honored. Beyond the Leader, the purpose or vision of their Mission… the Integrity of their Mission must be honored through their actions. Not simply following hierarchical commands without thought or consideration. Followers are responsible.

Another example of this same message is found in one of my favorite movies, The Last Samurai. Katsumoto is loyal to the Japanese Emperor, yet wages rebellion against him. At one point the Emperor, a teenager being mislead through inexperience and fear, asks Katsumoto why he rebels. Katsumoto responds that he would gladly take his life for the Emperor, but he is convinced the Emperor’s decisions are wrong and is fighting him… for him. For his people. For the Purpose, Integrity, Mission, Goals, and Intent that the Emperor wanted, needed, stood for, and had mistakenly abandoned.

Followers still have to make decisions. Responsible decisions. This is inescapable. Since most people reading this are more likely Followers than Leaders, please consider YOUR Power:

1. Who is the Leader I am following; more specifically, what do they represent to and for their constituency?  (Is there value, to self and others, in this daily effort?)

2. Ignoring past actions, are the Leader’s current directives properly representing the constituency? (Are the commands, words, and intent consistent…am I doing the ‘right’ thing?)

3. How can I honor the INTEGRITY OF MY MISSION, supporting the constituency that the Leader is obligated to serve; even in the absence of clear direction or if said direction is not cohesive with the Mission? (If the Leader does not have the information you have at your disposal, would he / she prefer you seek an alternative, creatively finding new solutions, in order to support the constituency?)

Some Leaders want unquestioning Followers, and there are clearly plenty out there in this world of ours (one that encourages and cranks out Followers through the educational system, large corporations, even the stifling of the word ‘why’ in our youth). But the BEST Leaders, those who TRULY serve their Purpose, Mission, and Constituency…are those that take responsibility for their actions and seek to follow the Integrity of their Mission. Even if it means subtle rebellion.

Every executive in my company, and every past or present employee that I respect, is someone with the guts to question my commands.

Confident Leaders honor their rebels. Nothing is more valuable to a Leader than a Follower with the guts to ask Why.

And once someone has lost sight of the Integrity of their Mission, they no longer deserve to Lead or Follow.

Followers are easily identified by their unwillingness to make tough decisions that aren’t first dictated or lead by their alleged glorious leader. Followers prefer someone to make decisions for them; and Leaders like to make decisions… take action.  Thing is, the fact that someone makes decisions and takes action might make them a Leader, but it does not make them a Good Leader. Positive impact on their constituency. Nor does it make them a Leader worth Following: Jim Jones, Hitler, Charles Manson… those are obvious examples of decisive action taking Leaders. I used to sit and cogitate on one question: ‘How the heck did they attract followers?’

Theory / Hypothesis; consider this: What if you follow the “Right” thing to do according to Society; you know, the norm dictated by people and media around you at that time? Your preacher, your Imam, your military leader; they all are in charge, they know what’s right and wrong, they were democratically elected or voted or believed into power! Right?

Society, the rule of numbers, the people, democracy … that’s always right. Right? NO! Sometimes leaders rule through the pretension of acceptance, dictation of societal norms; this is how they control the masses. The unthinking people. Those who hate to make action oriented decisions. You’ve felt it before…. follow. Follow what you dare not question. Follow because we are all doing it… Right?

These dictatorial decision makers are not the people who may be perceived as psycho. They are usually middle-men. Intermediaries. Preaching ideology, dangerously rooted in “righteousness” or “ethics.”

This is the most nefarious thing on the planet. Not the occasional bizarre-nut-bag like Mao Zedong, Idi Amin or Pol Pot; not even present day nut-jobs like Reverend Moon (his son is largest arms dealer in Korea), or Kim Jong-il (er…Team America…need I say more).Those people are obvious to the intelligent book-reading crowd.

I am talking about the people who push or promote ideological justifications, ultimately for the purpose of following the bold and decisive actions of a ‘Prophet.’

See….it isn’t the nut-jobs that are dangerous; it is the legions of enforcers and thought leaders that convince everyone else that following this new and perfectly communicated ideology is the Right (i.e. Righteous) thing to do.

WHY ????????

Because the followers never question the alleged ethical or righteous authority of their Beloved Leader; particularly when / if they believe wholeheartedly in the ideology. Which allows the prophet forgiveness for their obvious flawed human-ness.  That is how Hitler attracted an entire country, or three, to his mad ramblings and insanity-inspired musings.

OK…so… who is wrong here? The leader or the follower?

IMHO ~ I believe it is society as a whole. See… when you have a society that doesn’t reward individualism, a society that doesn’t reward people who break out from the pack, a society that instead rewards unquestioning followers…. you get a beautiful opportunity for well communicated, shiny and pretty , yet flawed, even psychopathic leaders.

Honeslty… Korea and Germany (Japan to a lesser degree / pre 1945)…. are hot-beds for goofy-0ass followers. Their societies are engineering dreams. Particualrly potent during the Industrial Revolution. Do as you are told. No individuality. Self-expression is the Devil. So is Football (Water Boy metaphor for the slower readers).

What a shame.

I have personally and carefully crafted a brand for myself over the years. A brand that allows me some freedoms. These freedoms were what that I knew I would require… because I am a little crazy. Like a Fox.

Crazy enough not to follow society’s rules.

Crazy enough to tell people to F-Off if I didn’t believe in their ideologies.

Crazy enough to reject ideology as THE rule of life.

And so I became an entrepreneur. Someone who could craft my own world. My own rules. My own destiny.

And yet… I live within your world. Your rules. Your perceptions and allegations. Trust me, it ain’t always easy to Lead vs. Follow. Few supporters and friends, even amongst family and loved ones.

Here is what I learned from Ayn Rand, author of Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead: I learned…the world is yours to craft. The leaders of this world create, without concern for acceptance or recognition; without concern for wealth or assimilation. Leaders are alone – because they create new rules. They Lead … They Thought-Lead.

Now… who are you? A leader or a follower? A thinker or a non-thinker?

Leaders are disdained and ostracized. They test limits. The bulk of humanity doesn’t have the cojones to test the limits. This is A-OK, as long as you understand how important it is to choose Who and What you Follow.

Do you Lead? By making tough decisions and suffering occasional judgment and ostracism? Do you Follow? If so, Who and What are you Following? Yesterday’s leadership; those who are well rounded, dictated, processed, ideological? The Bizarre Nut-jobs on the fringe?  Who?

Do you follow tomorrow’s leadership? Angry, mistaken, often humiliated, maybe even ostracized? Present day nut-jobs?

I can assure you; Leadership is a yoke. For those who bear this yoke, I encourage you to keep on KEEPING ON! Humanity needs Leaders. Despite the fact you may not see this today; or feel appreciated, or even have followers.

For those who Follow… please choose your Leaders wisely.

Today’s leaders have been tested. Tomorrow’s leaders are risky. Sometimes risk equals reward. Sometimes it does not.

No matter what… Leader or Follower…you must understand that YOU dictate YOUR future.

Enjoy the song…. I did: Breaking Benjamin Follow

When you gonna wake up and fight ?

As Robert Frost said in the last sentence of his poem The Road Not Taken: “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.”

Every day we are greeted with issues, decisions, challenges, and options. Each of these is a prime opportunity to face the divergence in the road and decide: Good or Bad. In truth, the decision in front of you is simply two moves on the chess board of Life. Each leads to another move from your opponent (Unhappiness), and then another move, and another, and so on. If you are not 99 years old, deaf, dumb, and blind…there is good news: you have a CHOICE.

Should I be happy or should i be ____(something else)_____?

Buddhists say that everything is void of Good or Bad. That it depends on your perception of the situation; and your situation as it relates to the actual occurrence.

That doesn’t mean that your life is a random event; like some macabre carnival game, pitching our fate with a random roll of the wheel. It means that the determination of Good or Bad is in the hands of the Beholder.

Because no matter what you Perceive to be obvious, you have a choice to behave un-obviously.

This is called Faith.

Faith is choosing to Believe in something you do not see at present. There is no factual data to support the Belief. As you deal with the vagaries and uncertainty of life, Faith gives you the option to Choose. Which path shall I take?

The common path, which is usually that of the flotsam and jetsam of humanity, or the less common path: The Road Not Taken.

The Road Not Taken is Faith & Optimism. Deciding to see the choice you made, whatever it may be, as Happiness. Then taking action, taking that first step down the road, which is: Strength, Empowerment, Life’s Journey, Intuition, Clarity, Power, Subconscious Victory, Will Power… all of which lead to Self-Mastery.

There are two alternatives to this Decision to Accept Happiness. One is that you see the step taken as something that chooses you; an Action you were not in Control of making: Destiny, Fate, Self-Defeat, DNA, Spiritual Forces, The Will of God, Familial Obligation, Race, Gender, Situational Economics. The other is to choose to do the same thing you have Always Done. This has the false appearance of being empowering for some people. If it’s the same thing you always say or do, then it is not empowering you.

Anything that dis-empowers you, that takes Control out of your Hands, and puts it into the hands of anyone or anything else (including your own habits), is dis-empowering. It is the Actions Leading to Self Mastery that Empowers you, and leads to Happiness.

For example:

* I drink too much. I will choose to slow down. (ding: a decision). * I will act upon this decision (ding: action). * I recognize failure is human (ding: reality). *I forgive myself before failure happens, if it happens; although not avoiding responsibility (ding: self-acceptance). * And I am taking this journey, this Step…because I BELIEVE I can Win (ding: Happiness through Self-Empowerment).

Try choosing to walk the Road Not Taken: not even necessarily the one not taken by others; but the road not taken by you, the last time you faced this very same issue. I know when I am finding problems in front of me and behind me, I go left or right. And if yesterday I stepped on dog-shit on the left, my decision is pretty easy.

Try Different-ness.

“If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

Some related links:

The Road Not Taken – Robert Frost

Meaning behind Shinedown’s Sound of Madness

Shinedown – Save Me video

Shinedown – acoustic version of Simple Man

DC Talk – Consume Me

It Ain’t About How Hard You Hit – Rocky Balboa

Rocky doesn't like F.F.P.S.

Every suburban American parent suffers the moment when we believe the secret to parenting is in getting our kid in competitive sports; right behind fishing or piano. Soccer, of course, seems the most innocuous; so, despite the fact that most people can’t name one professional American soccer team, we enroll our kids in soccer at or around age 7.

A few years back, a new program erupted on the angst-ridden parenting scene, and it was greeted with great fanfare and excitement as a Revolutionary new program called Fun Fair Positive Soccer or F.F.P.S.

Ever since, F.F.P.S. has been All-The-Rage!! Basically, it has no score, n0 winners, no losers; everyone gets a trophy, and everyone gets a cool-ass jersey… even that kid that picked his nose the entire game.

So what Gene: ‘Why is it wrong that everyone gets a trophy?’Because the good people at F.F.P.S are trying to equalize out the fact that life isn’t fair. Some kids are more athletic. Some have more drive. Who cares?!?! In F.F.P.S., everyone is equal; Losers and Winners alike!

The problem is, well…um, that ain’t L.I.F.E. my friend. This attitude, taught to kids now at an early age, doesn’t prepare children to be either effective or self-aware adults. In fact, it is actually robbing children of a crucial message: Life Is Not fair.

Thanks to F.F.P.S., and other equalizing programs, our society is full of goofy people who think showing up and picking daisies, or each other’s noses, is sufficient to engender a reward.

As adults, the same kids that got trophies for “not-losing,” go on to ask for pay raises and promotions despite the fact that they have done nothing to improve their skills or enhance their marketplace value. They, of course, get really mad; Tweeting, and Facebook-ing, and Yelp-ing about the insensitivity of their employer for not recognizing their daily attendance (productivity notwithstanding).

However, maybe if they had learned the proper lessons earlier in life, they would understand that rewards go to the players who Win and who Contribute. Other people have run the field hard, learned new skills and steadily increased their responsibilities; subsequently earning pay raises and promotions. These people understand the ball doesn’t come to you, you run after the ball, and KICK it as hard as possible!

So, here are a few lessons I hope to teach to my three awesome kids, as I watch them run the ball of life:

1) Don’t worry about your resume – Worry about the profits, efficiency and success of the team.  Resume enhancement comes from success. Success comes from adding value. Adding value comes from chasing the ball with all your might. WIN !!!

2) Absorb the beauty of a WIN, and the bitter pill of a LOSS – Only then can you strive and learn and grow. A trophy for losing is like a raise for tenure: Fool’s Gold. Oftentimes, the bitter pain of regret, loss and/or losing something of value is exactly what you need to make you get up and run Harder next time. How many entrepreneurs fail and then, armed with new learning experiences, succeed later in life? All of them.

Soccer players that expect success from just chasing the more athletic and skilled people around the field, or for simply showing up, are kidding themselves and being lazy.

Winners get trophies. Losers get learning opportunities. And DAMN-IT, that’s A-OK and exactly what each of them need and deserve!

If you are wondering why you haven’t gotten a pay raise lately? It’s because you haven’t added enough value to the team. You’ve been running around the field, chasing the athletic kids, wiping your nose on the daisies and the dandelions.

OK…What does it take to get recognition? Easy:

1st – Hard effort.

2nd – Win.

3rd – Trophy.

In that order.

Winning isn’t bad; it’s awesome. Losing isn’t bad either; it’s awesome. With each Winner comes a Loser.

Rocky. Aliens. Mighty Ducks. Cool Runnings. Transformers. ~ These movies have Winners and Losers. Which is why we cheer!!  YAY!!!  The Winner’s Won!!!

In the immortal words of Ricky Bobby: “If you ain’t first, you’re last.”

Rewarding someone for NOT evolving is a travesty of nature, a two-headed animal, and most two-headed animals die.

F.F.P.S. should be called F.F.B.S..

And people who demand “More” from life, yet refuse to run after the ball, should be called “Losers.”

Don’t be a Loser. Run Forrest Run!!

Go for the Gold. IT IS IN YOU!

I will admit it’s nice to be able to just gab, blab, and blubber in someone else’s paid and professional care. Men who habitually pay for female companionship know exactly what I am talking about…a lesser known skill taught at pole-dancing school is listening to the client B&M (Bitch & Moan) about their often self-perpetuated self-abuse.

That said – let me sum up professional therapy, and the Champagne Room counseling session, and save you thousands or even tens of thousands of Benjamins:

1) Your parents, God bless-em, are probably f-ups in one way or another. – They learned from their parents, who learned from their parents, who learned from their parents, etc., etc., etc. Vicious Cycle of Parental Incompetence. No qualifications for having a baby required, or rearing that poor little sod. Even these people can do it…

2) So are you. – Yep, Sport, sorry to tell you… but there is a VERY high likelihood you are not half as perfect as you think you might be right now. No matter what your aforementioned Mommy told you. Guess what? It’s OK. Whether you’re shaving your head in denial like Britney, or making crap movies like Ashton, or nationalizing all of a previously glorious and free country like Obama…. you are likely making mistakes. That’s OK.

3) Get over it. – Yep… it is that simple. Get Over It. This Too Shall Pass. You will recover from your mistakes most likely and move on as a wiser, braver, older, slightly more scarred human being. They call that ‘certain look of knowledge and experience’ … WISDOM. As I get older, I now realize why so many old people know so much and yet are so reticent to share, expressing their knowledge through cynicism and cantankerous behavior… b/c sometimes the pain of gaining wisdom is…well…painful.

4) Do you need a scrip ? (for… alcohol, cocaine, pot, Ritalin, overt sexuality, no sexuality, obsessive behavior, Tourette’s syndrome, work-a-holism, Blackberry addiction, gambling, depression, anger, or only having 16 sides on your 20-sided die (obscure Dungeons & Dragons reference for the Gary Gygax fans) … I’m sorry. Blame it on your Mom. Or Dad. Or Uncle. These are all just ways to cope.

So…hire that Pole Dancer, or therapist; cry like a  baby if need be. And then Get Over It.

That’s the bottom-line.

We’ve all got personal problems. Every single imperfect one of us.

Leadership Lesson Hidden Behind this Bizarre Message about Pole Dancers and Therapists and Prescription Drugs:

• Don’t get caught up in your problems.
• Don’t get caught up in other people’s problems.
• Leave your bullshit at the door (as best you can).
• And be a “real” human being to those who can’t.

B/c leadership is a lot like Fatherhood – Under appreciated. Always needed. 

Love the people who make up your Tribe.

Because being a Leader sometimes means you might have to lend a shoulder for someone to cry upon… b/c they are human. So are you.

And that is A-OK. Sometimes as a Leader, you DO have to be more than a Boss. It doesn’t make you any less of a Leader.

And it doesn’t make them any less of an employee, friend, or pole dancer.

Peace Out.

PS – As a Leader, it is generally best if you seek your therapy through professional sources and avoid blubbering on the shoulder’s of your fellow Tribal Passionistas (i.e. your staff).

In the last ten days, I’ve taken on the job roles previously assigned to four people (including me). When you have an almost insurmountable amount of work in front of you, you get very good at making decisions and delegating.

Making decisions – this is crucial for leadership. Most people are scared to make decisions, captured by the fear of risk. What if…? And their mind fills in fears, the weight of the decision looms- even grows- and they then use some personalized delay tactic.

Thing is… Leaders lead. If the journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step, then we see that nowhere more exemplified in the ability to make decisions.

I have some underlying rules, related to my own behavior, that I almost religiously follow when faced with decisions (weighing the risks of two partial unknowns)… to the extent that they are habitual.

1. The economic impact on the variance from “perfect” to “good” is usually very small. The cost of a delay can be much more expensive than the added value of perfection. As Guy Kawasaki says, “Don’t Worry, Be Crappy.” Followed of course by “Churn, baby, churn.”

2. Time, truly, has a monetary equivalent (i.e. time is money). This value of Time varies depending on whose time is in question. Note: All animals are created equal, but some animals are more equal than others… delegate down.

3) My intuition is subconsciously running the math, smelling the air, adjusting for the wind… and is usually correct. Give extra credence to my first response.

4. The possible negative emotional impact of a decision grows exponentially as it is delayed. Problems grow as they are delayed… they don’t go away.

5. Life is a series of decisions. Since I am not J.C. (or any reasonable facsimile)… it is ok to make mistakes. I insist on learning from them, and I expect and even welcome them with a somewhat odd optimism. Forgive yourself.

6. Circumstances weigh heavily on what determines the “right” or “wrong” decision. Sticking with stoic rules or processes – or maybe even ethics – can cause wrong decisions. Weigh situations freely.

7.I must beware the reality that my own selfish interests oftentimes cloud my judgment. Therefore, if it benefits me personally, I give the decision a little more scrutiny.

Holy crap Batman… What does all that mean?

Simple. Trust your instincts. Accept “good enough.” Rush to decide. Forgive yourself, and forgive others if you delegate. Respect the value of your time. Learn from mistakes.

Leaders make decisions.

Oh yeah… one more -

8. Respect and tap into the power of optimism. You would be amazed how hard you work to prove yourself “right.”

That said; let’s start at the end.  About six months ago, I decided it was time to evolve my business.  I had seen many entrepreneurs who had grown their business to the stage that they were able to “retire” to a beautiful yacht or a new philanthropic venture, or even their own foibles and personal addictions… and I wanted the same.  Not to pull out, but to pull UP… to evolve my role from 60-70-80 hr a week entrepreneur, business development, operations, finance, and sales guy – to that of an owner with a successful business, equally successful executives and peers, and new more worldly-focused efforts.  Maybe I was bored.  Maybe I was tired.  Maybe I was stupid.  Who knows. Nonetheless, I sat down with my key executive team after getting a series of conflicting emails that said: help, be here more, don’t be here so much, we need you, we don’t need you, and even more angst ridden emails and calls for something they needed or wanted from me: more freedom, more executive authority, more clear direction, transparency, more, more, more.

So I decided to try and pull my daily operational decision-making back a few steps, give the management team more authority, and evolve my business and my personal life… functionally separating a little bit from the business; or at least trying to fly above the trees (which for a small business owner often resemble the trees in the Wizard of Oz: apples in hand, snarls on faces).  I told them that my goal was to eventually resign from day-to-day operations, and that they needed to step up and run the business in full.  I gave them parameters for their authority, and told them that this was their chance to evolve their careers from managers to executives.  I will fast forward to the outcome (because the middle portion is irrelevant), and I will say quite simply… my retirement / resignation of my day-to-day decision-making duties didn’t work.  Apparently, I had failed to convey the necessary information and skills to the folks to whom I was gifting much of my authority.  That’s my failure; plain and simple.  The leader is responsible to lead, to train, to inspect, and to pass on the appropriate skills.  Any failure in the organization; in process, people, or adopted technology, is a failure of the leader.

Recently, I have embraced the need to re-engage as the CEO.  The lesson herein is an entrepreneurial lesson, that I was not only forced to learn, but compelled to take actions to resolve, for the betterment of the company and the supported employees, vendors, shareholders, and customers.

The lesson learned was simple.  Entrepreneurs work themselves to death because they LOVE their business (or what they perceive they are receiving from their business).  This love of business; of the game, the fight, the constant learning opportunity, compels them to hold back on giving people the necessary freedoms, and education, and opportunities to grow professionally.  Many entrepreneurs hold this information, this wisdom, inside…waiting for someone with a stronger force of will to come along and TAKE it from them.  Or maybe they are simply perfectionists with an unwillingness to give the freedom of failure (i.e. the freedom to take risks) to their staff.  Regardless, the lesson I learned was simple… I had failed my management staff.  Rather than preparing them for success; I had simply given them a problem they were not capable, or empowered, or maybe even hungry enough to resolve.  They had fears.  They had goals.  They had personal lives.  They even had stated ambitions.  What they did not have was the intellectual or emotional empowerment to succeed at the role I was forcing onto them.

And I made the mistake of assuming that I could dictate the timing and intensity of their own leadership evolution.  I wanted it on my time frame, and then I let them live or die based upon their own strengths.  Which was ultimately a selfish decision on my end.  Now, maybe this was Freudian (i.e. maybe I internally desired this outcome)?  Who knows. The net effect though was this: six months later, it was apparent I had to step back into a clear leadership and operating role.  Not because things were “failing,” but because the insidious disease of mediocrity had set into the work place and was rapidly and like a virus, infecting the entire staff, our work product, and our bottom-line.  Ultimately, the staff and management team interpreted my absence as not caring…and they simply followed suit. Showing up physically; but in many cases, not mentally and emotionally.

So… today, with this post, I announce my posthumous retirement.

Crap.  That didn’t last long.

OK. I am back. STEP ONE, I have decided, is leadership development within my staff, because I still secretly desire to tell my boss to Take This Job and Shove It!  These blog posts being the first of many efforts I am under-taking for everyone’s long-term benefit.  I intend to post them approximately weekly, until I run out of steam on this particular subject or at least until something really shiny shows up in my peripheral vision.

My intent is to contribute to the knowledge that every single employee has here at Pop Labs, on how to be a better, more successful employee, manager, leader, maybe even a future entrepreneur. Helping them develop and evolve… and maybe helping them avoid some of my “messy” mistakes.

Why? Because beyond “fiduciary responsibility,” beyond ego, beyond desires and even mutual dependence…. I care about the outcome. To them. To my investors. To my friends, my family, and my employees (past, present, and future).

And for me….. because I want to get back to that idea of  “retirement” someday, or at least evolve myself into a new role.  You know, write a book, slow down, adopt fifteen kids from Zimbabwe, whatever

So… here’s to Zimbabwe… and you… and me !

Rock and Roll !

Buckle Up.

10). Don’t think about your future…live for today only. Don’t plan. Don’t cogitate. Don’t worry be happy. If spending every penny you make, and some you haven’t yet made, makes you happy…do it. If quitting college makes you happy…do it. If doing a lot of drugs and partying every single day makes you happy…do it. If you plan for the future, you might be disappointed. Don’t be disappointed…don’t plan. Instead, live for today! You might be dead tomorrow, so why bother.

9) Take no risks professionally or personally. Risks are stupid. Risk takers are stupid. Think about them all: Amelia Earhart, Howard Hughes, Donald Trump, Oprah. Shoot…if you take risks, you could end up dead, crazy, with really bad hair, or have a PR nightmare from your most recent $50 million donation. Who wants that mess? It is much easier to sit on your ideas forever, to play-it-safe, and to ride out mediocrity. If it’s good enough for the unnamed and unknown masses of humanity…it’s good enough for you. Grab another beer and bag of chips€¦life is waiting. It can wait.

Let other people make all your decisions. Stay safe…avoid ever being accused of being decisive. It is always the decisive guy that gets axed first in the movies…witness Samuel L Jackson’s character in Deep Blue Sea. You don’t want to be that guy do you? Crunch!! No way!! Sit back and let some other lime-light grabbing jerkwad lead the troops and paint his face blue…it’s much safer to be the schlep following all their decisions. Do you want to live forever?? Yes!!! Leaders die gruesome horrible deaths.

7) Never, ever read. Reading is over rated. If the subject matter was important, they would have taught it to you in Junior College. Besides, life isn’t fun or challenging when you are smart and well equipped for the variety of challenges life has a habit of throwing at you…it is much more fun to go into the unknown wearing only your underwear. Real men don’t read. Reading is a pansy sport. They read a lot in France.

6) Never accept responsibility. Deny fault, even when you look like a stupid a-hole. You will recover from being a stupid a-hole, but they will never recover from properly assigning blame and responsibility on the irresponsible (i.e. you).

5) The world revolves around you. Keep telling yourself that, it will come true someday. If it doesn’t come true by the time you are old and decrepit, buy some ruby red slippers and tap them together while reciting “It’s all about me, it’s all about me.” You will eventually get back to Kansas Dorothy, or at least your Mom and Dad’s home in Topeka.

4) Join a religious or tree-huggers group that backs up your moral conviction that money is bad. You’ll feel better about being a broke, lazy, stupid, schmuck when you are chaining yourself to a tree or sitting astride your valiant steed Ego, your moral high horse, with your trusted friend Judgment by your side. In fact, if you can tell people that you are following “the will of God”, or helping the green movement shoot.you can justify almost anything. What’s a little laziness, bias, castigation, or abuse of others compared to what other people do in the name of religion and eco-terrorism. I bet God invented potato chips and beer. If not, you know you saved a cow when you bought that Naugahyde couch you can sit and eat your organic chips and drink your micro-brewed beer on who wants real leather anyway.

3) Look for a job with a massive company, ideally the government, where you can hide safely amidst the masses and nobody in management will ever see your complete lack of efficiency and productivity. This is crucial. Good benefits and “job security” come with big companies. Just ask anyone who worked for Enron, Dynegy, Arthur Anderson, Eastern Airlines, or WorldCom. Let some nameless boob control your retirement account and your economic future. He will absolutely take care of you and put your interests first, employee number 32,789, he promises.

2) Never ever learn from the mistakes you make, or the mistakes of others. That would require asking yourself hard questions and accepting responsibility, or humbling yourself to learn from other who may have experienced similar life and business issues to those you are currently exposed. Screw that. Humble pie doesn’t taste good. Instead, just keep making the same dumb mistakes over and over and over. Never change your formula. It worked for Thomas Edison…remember, he tried to invent the light bulb 10,000 times. I’m sure he never changed his test. It just worked one day because he bent the rules of nature to his needs. Persistence. Over and over, never change, but expect different results. Learn from Thomas Edison. 10,000 tests…then whammo…it magically worked.

1) Don’t work hard. Laziness is the secret. You’ve heard the saying about being a duck, calm on the surface but paddling furiously under-water? Screw that. Ducks are lazy. They float around all day, and sleep, and wait for kids to feed them bread crumbs. Be the duck. Float. Don’t even paddle…shoot…who knows where you would end up if you did that! Float down life’s river. Eat the bread crumbs thrown by others in your slovenly direction…because bread crumbs from little booger-picking kid’s hands are much better than fois-gras. Who wants fake grass anyway? Ducks eat real grass. Ducks have it made.

Ps – Don’t be the lead duck. The wind hurts his face when he’s flying. It is way better to be the duck in the rear. Yeah, the view never changes, but it’s better to have your duck bill up someone’s back-side than to be buffeted by the cold, harsh, winds of taking on what lies ahead. Duck-holes are warm; who wants cold duck lips?

So there you go. Follow this sage advice and you will succeed mightily at being unsuccessful. You have to be good at something maybe you have finally found your calling!

1. Develop a personal brand.
2. Learn the language of early stage finance.
3. Determine the viability and demand for your product or service.
4. Sell, sell, sell.
5. Recruiting, partnering, outsourcing, and hiring away your weaknesses.
6. Support your sales efforts with marketing & branding.
7. Learn how to manage others…and yourself.
8. Balancing cash flow in daily operations.
9. Why are you doing this and what is the exit? - You should have your goals outlined LONG before you get started. Granted, life changes and sometimes your goals, needs and desires change as well….but the lack of a goal will likely cause you to wander in the desert for 40 yrs and get a really bad sunburn. What motivates you? Money, your ego, a desire to survive / thrive / grow, to prove yourself, control…what? Define this and you will have a much more clear vision for what actions you should take and when you should take them. Last comment here; you should study how, when and why an “exit” is likely to occur and how, when and why you will pursue this type of event, or if you should simply build your business for lifestyle opportunities.
10. The end is the beginning - Finalizing the list is the simple idea that your business is NOT your child, it is NOT your spouse and it is NOT your sense of self. Learn to see your business as a fantastic and fun ride, a great learning opportunity, a financial vehicle for you, your employees, investors and vendors, and simply stated…the business is owned BY you…it should not OWN you. Someday, the business might go away (through acquisition, failure, or simply winding it down). What will you do next? Will you do it again? What have you learned and become through this phenomenal and gut wrenching thrill-ride? Are you better, did you make the lives of other’s better, are you smarter, wiser and hopefully broader in your resources and mental bandwidth than before? While you may well build the next Koch Industries and find the next Anna Nicole….or you might have to start over. Make sure you learn from every experience, manage your personal finances and lifestyle, try and strive for some balance in your affairs, and work towards your goals daily.

Rock and roll !!!!