Dec
22
Which B(ee) Are You?
Filed Under Entrepreneurism, Leadership
There are three types of employees. You are likely one of them:
Category A - These people bust ass. They work virtually all hours; from home, via Blackberry, on weekends. Whenever needed. They expand their skills and their job role to encompass what the employer needs at that moment, not necessarily for the employer… but for their selfish desire to move ahead AND their personal desire to scratch that internal itch called Pride. They do this happily, without warning, forethought, or demand.
These folks never need to be asked to do X, Y, Z… Oftentimes, they even require training on focus and slowing down. Balance is achieved through personal productivity.
They are team players; helping and not begrudging their time invested in others. They don’t let family or personal concerns block their career efficacy; using their personal life as a motivation and not a road-block.
Their work is an investment… In themselves and in their career.
They are the crab seeking ever to climb out of the bucket. Not because the bucket is horrible, but because they are excited about what lies beyond the edges of their current limitations.
{Notes in these little squiggly parentheses things are for owners of start-ups: Cat A employees are RARE… hold onto them for dear life!!! Your organization will succeed solely based on these people…. the rest are the flotsam and jetsam of business ownership}
Category B – These people are the “Worker Bees” of an organization. They work, they stretch, they are predictable, manageable, pleasant, reasonably happy. They are awesome!!!! They love tasks and excel at achieving laid out objectives. They never purposely miss, and always enjoy their job from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. on the dot. When they get home to their well organized life, they are well intentioned and good parents, siblings, and spouses. This person represents the foundation of our society… predictability and accountability. They were taught this by their excellent parents and they do not waver. God Bless America. God Bless Category B. So many systems would not exist without them. I had a friend who was an executive in a $7 billion water treatment company. I asked her; ‘how the heck do you manage 7,000 + people?’… and she said: ‘This place is a cult of process.’ Cat B’s love process because it keeps them from having to make decisions.
{For owners of start-ups: quit reading this, it is in tiny little text so you will ignore it; these are not the droids you are looking for; move along: Cat B employees are awesome. They work hard and make the true foundation of your company. You must be loyal to them; as they are to you. That’s what they want; someone to watch their back. Love these people.}
Category C – For whatever reason, at this point in time in their life; this person is unaccountable, unpredictable, sometimes lazy, irresponsible, and unmanageable. They are horrid employees, and whether personable or not…they cost the organization money and create strife and challenges for all.
{For owners of start-ups: if you could put this person’s head on a stake and parade around with it for a while, then leave it out publicly at the reception desk with maggots eating their eyeballs out… it would still not motivate the other Category Cs to be more personally accountable.}
And that’s that…. You are either A, B, or C!!
Woooaaaahhh Tonto. Not so fast. If it were that easy, then hiring and firing would be a piece of cake.
It isn’t.
You see…there is Category D.
Category D – This is the most difficult and troubling of categories. They look like a Cat A, smell and behave sometimes like a Cat B, maybe even promote themselves as a Cat C… but they are really a Cat D. This would be the work-world equivalent of a psychopath. Someone with something to hide, no remorse, and a willingness to manipulate others to get what they want out of a situation…with no regard for feelings, impact, emotions, economics, or even their own careers. They have good degrees sometimes. Great resumes sometimes. Even good referrals sometimes. Because they have manipulated or master-minded past employers, friends, co-workers and family to represent whatever is needed to move their agenda ahead. Which is the core problem. Their agenda is not success for themselves, which makes good common sense and is predictable, their agenda is justification for their personal lack of success:
- “See…I tried.”
- “It’s not my fault.”
- “Yeah…but…”
These are mottos emblazoned on their forehead / resumes / backgrounds, as sure as the tattoo on their bicep or the ‘tramp-stamp’ on their back (not that there is anything wrong with the occasional tramp-stamp). They are not bad people…. they just do not know how to accept personal responsibility for their own failures; so their entire life and career is spent self justifying.
They kill organizations, because they are believable.
They kill morale.
Large to midsized companies thrive on Cat B and Cat C employees, but Cat A does not work because they tend to buck ‘process.’ A Cat A in a large or midsized company is persistently unhappy.
Cat A belongs in small growth companies.
Ultimately, Cat B doesn’t work very well in small growth companies.
And Cat C doesn’t work anywhere…but survives in large companies. Usually the government. Ever been to the post office? (Side note: my solution to tons of problems; i.e. global warming, deforestation, budgetary deficit, etc….deliver mail once a week).
Cat D is really troubling.
You must learn to spot them fast. They leave signs.
- They jump ship approximately every 18 months.
- They switch careers approximately every five years.
- They have an excuse for everything.
- Their excuse is believable….and they are often quite charming.
- They have poor personal finance management.
- They have limited long term personal relationships.
- They have a tendency to plagiarize without giving appropriate recognition to the source.
- They do NOT like to be the subtle or quiet one, yet they do not like being responsible for results either.
- They are often audacious.
- They shine attention on non-productive aspects of their daily efforts.
- They ALWAYS leave a trail of dead bodies.
- Always.
{For owners of start-ups: these people will absolutely KILL everything you are doing. Slowly, painfully, expensively. These people are cock roaches. They breed, they are difficult to kill, they keep seemingly coming back to life, and they just don’t fucking die!! Die you asshole die!!! aahhhhhhhh…. Uh. Sorry. Flashbacks.}
As an entrepreneur…I’ve learned to find, train, motivate, support, appreciate, recognize, and enjoy Cat A.
I have also learned to do the same for Cat B. They provide comfort; just don’t forget the Jack Welch motto of replacing the bottom 10%.
I’ve learned to terminate Cat C.
I’ve lost a fortune to Cat D.
Gotta watch them…like a Zombie infestation…they tend to spread.
Ps – You can identify Category A and B employees because they value their work experience and their learning opportunities higher than their short-term pay. They value career goodwill. They research the organization before coming to work, and they are concerned about what YOU think of them…not kiss-asses, but they have Pride that they wish to secure through Effort and Productivity.
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3 Responses to “Which B(ee) Are You?”
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Hey Gene, I have traces of all 4. For now, I’m a good corporate servant because I’m compensated well, am part of a kick-ass team, and for SURE want to move up.
Someday I’ll run my own show again. For now, it’s all about absorbing and payin’ the rent!
Kevin Y.
There are actually only THREE types of people in the world: those who can count and those who can’t.
Seriously ENTERTAINING article Gene!
On the bright side, because of Cat C&D we learn to appreciate Cat A&B even more.
“They are the crab seeking ever to climb out of the bucket. Not because the bucket is horrible, but because they are EXCITED about what lies beyond the edges of their current limitations.” – that is memorable and inspiring!
Btw, thank you for taking the time to transfer your thoughts to this blog…saves me from guessing what’s on your mind since I haven’t mastered telepathy yet…lol